Ode to the Midwest

Oh, land of wheat and cattle
I woulds't fain be a bear,
But every day's a battle
Just figuring what to wear.

Today there be'est thunder
Tomorrow snow and sleet,
And then who know what new assault
Will soak or freeze my feet?

But they tell me it be worth it
To tolerate this mess,
Because tho' rotten spring may be,
We love winter even less.